dominant appeal

[icey]

What attracts you to dom/mes? Or what attracted you to your Dom/me?

ive often wondered but never been able to come up with a definitive answer, all i know is that im automatically attracted to and naturally veer towards Dominant people full stop.
i know why im not attracted to men who are not Dominant, they just cant push me, spark some sort of a passionate reaction in me of any kind they just dont seem to give me any intellectual stimulation either, if that makes sense?
sexually i find them boring because if they're not Dominant or like any form of control, pain etc (yes i know not all Dom/mes like s/m and such) then it leaves me at a loss as to what to do or how to be i can try encourage them to do different things but i cant take the lead in any way at all and all non Dom/mes seem to want that!

I read yesterday, in a girl mag, interpretation of submissive fantasies/inclinations and that it means one suffers from insecurity. I found it insulting and I tend to disagree, but I could be in denial. What do you think of their theory?

im going to go against the grain here and probably have all the subs jump on me but i think she's partially correct, i dont think it means all subs suffer from insecurity particularly men, BUT i do think that many have or have had at some point in their lives a lot of insecurities, self doubts etc even those (including myself more recently) who happily and honestly declare they're independant can stand up for themselves are not doormats and so on.
just take a careful look at 70% of the posts and threads around here and read many of the girl subs storys historys descriptions of their personality traits experiences (unfortunately all too often bad traumatic ones) and how to use most peoples words have grown to become stronger, more independant, have been given more self-esteem, learned to be positive about themselves,( i could cite much much more) in their 'journey of submission'

i think many (and most ive ever spoken to or met certainly) do start out with insecurities and lack of self-worth to some degree or other and are looking unconciously perhaps for some-one to give/teach them how to truly be and respect themselves and only some-one with enough control, strength of character and patience to keep on re-enforcing that and it tends to be people of a more Dominant character who has that self-discipline patience and desire to do so.
i am NOT saying anyone is a doormat or weak or that it's what is or makes some-one naturally submissive or gives them those fantasies but i do think that it can be a contributing factor.

how many of us occasionaly or even often say we need, need not want some form of recognition for pleasing? again just sift through thousands and thousands of the posts in these forums.
whether that be in the form of being called a good girl, a pat on the head, a 'reward' having the acknowledgement of something pleasing or good we have done or our actions,the manner in which we do/accept things etc?
isnt that partly to do with wanting/needing some form of re-enforcement and re-enforcement is all about reassuring us we have done good have done something worthwhile etc? would anyone want or need that if they wernt feeling a little unsure deep down as to whether we've done 'good' wouldnt people who dont want and need that feel a bit patronised otherwise? any vanilla person ive ever known would go spare if they were to be treat that way!
i guess in a way thats partly the reason im attracted to in Dominant men.

phew! rambling over! but there just my thoughts *ducks ready for the attack*