Quote Originally Posted by damyanti View Post
What attracts you to dom/mes? Or what attracted you to your Dom/me?
The first part of this query is an interesting question to me, as I'm not really attracted to Doms per se. If a man I am attracted to is indeed of the Domly persuasion, wonderful, that certainly adds texture to the overall attraction but it is rarely the initial trigger. I am indeed attracted by confidence, honesty and honor, many of the characteristics one would associate with a Dom; but again, just the title doesn't flip any particular switches on in me.

My own Dom is a man I met in real life first, without any of the helpful online titles and protocols to identify his Domliness right off the bat. (We had to rely on our own impulses and instincts to draw the D/s dynamic out of each other.) I was drawn to him by his confidence and intelligence, and by the unique blend of savvy he had for both business and artistic pursuits. We met while doing a theatre production, and we could very smoothly navigate through a conversation pertaining to our passions there and then just as easily segue to decidedly more capitalistic trains of thought. Our personalities blended beautifully, the sexual chemistry certainly wasn't far behind, and as we melded into each other's lives the BDSM aspects of each other rose more and more to the surface.

Quote Originally Posted by damyanti View Post
I read yesterday, in a girl mag, interpretation of submissive fantasies/inclinations and that it means one suffers from insecurity. I found it insulting and I tend to disagree, but I could be in denial. What do you think of their theory?
I know I've certainly met more than my fair share of insecure subs but, then again, I've also met more than a few secure and very well put together ladies (as I assume the study in the "girl mag" was geared toward women).

Perhaps the study would have done well to sort out "why" women sub, as opposed to just the fact that they do. That's like saying all employees who work over forty hours a week do so because they are unhappy with their home lives. Maybe, but I bet some of them do it because they simply like their jobs. Same symptom, different disease. (And before you semantic nitpickers get all up in arms, no, I do not think subbing is some wretched disease, blah blah blah, you know what I mean.)

Anyhoo, in cases like these, I wish to see the "shy" and not just the "what."