welcome to the community, best way as to how is to just start exploring the different links, the stories in the library are great ways of seeing the imaginations of bdsm loving peoples, and as most people place themselves in the things they read, you might find out a little aboout yourself, ask questions in the forum, talk with the neighbors, and then keep researching while analysiing whats best for you. thats a start anyway--lol, it is called a lifestyle so it will be an ongoing experience. good luck in your searchs