Yes, Hindu culture is actually quite free with regards to women - certainly no more restrictive than modern western ideas and certainly among those hindu who have moved to the west. In fact, like the jews, I beleive they have a strong element of 'rights for women' inherent in the religion (but could be wrong about that). If you didn't know, the Jewish tradition has the concept of 'conjugal rights' for women in that a woman has the right to complain to the Rabbi if she thinks she is not being satisfied in bed. They also have the concept of a woman being in charge of the home enshrined in the religion. I think (from my conversations with some hindu) that this latter point is also the case in Hindu tradition. Certainly, like Judaism, Hinduism seems to have a stereotype of the strong, wilfull, overbearing matriarch of which even the supposedly 'head of the household' males are afraid of.

I say forget the religion/culture and talk to him as an individual. Get his view, as has already been mentioned. There are many on this forum who are Christian and yet who do not seem to tow the percieved fundamentalist Christian party line which would also see what we do as wrong. To be involved in BDSM at all, at any level, indicates a person who is brave enough to step outside the constrained paths of religious dogma and think for themselves, thereby considering those elements of their culture which they feel fit with thier views and those which do not. We are, after all, already going against general morality with what we do never mind religion or culture. Therefore it is unlikely that he is the sort of Hindu who is strict about the application of his culture or religion to an outsider he was associated with. He is more likely to be a modern, liberal, forward thinking type who will respect your wishes within the BDSM negotiations you carry out.