I think the point where you would have a reason to worry, is when you cross something that was previously a hard hard limit for you (and is considered a hard limit by most people), but you are now acquiescing to it. I think somebody said it before in another thread,...the single best measuring bar we have is common sense.
I do understand what you are talking about, and I am much the same. I am submissive, I am attracted to dominant men and I get off on the D/s power exchange, but everything else on that scale is up for discussion, (hard limits excluded) I am into what my partner is into. I get turned on by a wide variety of things (fantasies) and they are great, but they are not mandatory. And it is in our submissive nature to be accommodating. The most importat thing is the person I am attracted to and trust.