First of all, welcome to the forums and I hope that those of us here can be of help to you in your search. That being said, let me see if I can help you out based on what you said in your post.

Quote Originally Posted by rannai79 View Post
I don't know if I am a sub or dom. I read lots of stories on this site. my best friend and I have this play that only the two of us do that has lot bdsm in it.
The first thing to consider in trying to figure out where your BDSM interests lie are two questions. In your play are you more the person that submitting or are you the person making your friend submit? Do you like submitting more or do you enjoy making your friend submit more? The answer to those two questions should help a lot in figuring out where you fall on the BDSM spectrum.

Quote Originally Posted by rannai79 View Post
we are both want to find out which way we are or are we a switch. I am 32 years old, married with two kids. my husband is not really into this and I really want to explore this. please help
You could both be switches, in which case the answer to those two questions would be "depends on our mood" but in my experience when someone is a switch they lean more towards the Dom side or the sub side as one side is going to be your more natural side. Of course that just my opinion and experience.

Hope that helps you out,

Jaymin