*grins hugely at Ozme* You can be so sweet.

I, too, faked almost always (yes, true) in vanilla relationships (ok, I did not have many, but one was really long).
I was far younger then. Young men are often insecure and you can NOT tell them you did not come, because they will tell you something is wrong with YOU if you didnīt!!
Either they get angry (if they donīt give a fuck about you and only think of themselves), or else they get sad and guilty (if they really love/like you and genuinely wish to please you).

The point is also that at a young age (or if you are simply inexperienced!) you cannot tell them how to do it better because you donīt know YOURSELF what would have to be different.

So. That was my vanilla life. When I got together with hubby (my first and only BDSM relationship), I was horribly nervous. I did not DARE fake an orgasm because he had a really huge LOT of women, and he can TELL if she enjoys what heīs doing, or not.
*grins*
Being nervous did not help. After a while, he asked what was up, and I told him. He then said if I kept worrying about it, I would NEVER come as nervousness does not help (so true). He assured me he would not get angry or anything, and would not blame me.
And so it happened. And the moment I lost my fear, I came like a sledgehammer.

Same thing accounts for the position 69. I used to totally hate it, because I can EITHER concentrate on the guy, OR on myself. Not both. Now the idiots I had always either yelled at me for stopping to work on their noodle when I just got a few seconds to enjoy myself - or else, they complained that I did not come (which I did not, because I tried to please THEM, goddamit!!).

So, again, explaining had to be done to hubby, because he could not believe I dislike that position actually... He simply told me that he wants to busy himself with my nether regions while I did the same to him, because he LIKES that, and he did not care if I enjoyed it or not (this was within a scene, yes, God, it made me so horny... ya, I like to be used *g*).
Guess what happened. I let myself go. And the very second I let myself go, and realized he did not complain about me stopping blowing for a few seconds while I just enjoyed myself VERY much, I was able to stop the worrying.
I very nearly fainted with that orgasm.
And I did not have such problems since.

Hummm.

Damn, now Iīm horny. And hubby is on a business trip. *grumbles*