male subs, a question

[dynamicbuttler]

Male subs, I know how we infamously outnumber female dommes. Are they as hard to find as I think? What guys here have even BEEN with a domme?

[silkysmooth10]

dynamicbuttler,

I don't haven't been into the scene that long, so I couldn't tell you. But, I have not been with a female domme, YET. But would absolutely LOVE to soon. I am a total submissive sissy and want to be dominated by a controlling mistress.

[silkysmooth10]

P.S., I absolutely love the pic

[gregor2001us]

I live with a Domme, and have played with Dommes on line.

[McGuinness]

I haven't- but that's fairly unsurprising, considering that I'm only 18.

[virgman54]

i submitted to a Domme one time. She tied me spreadeagle between to posts and whipped me, then tried to jack me off. It didn't work for me. i have found that i respond to male Doms only, however, having a female watching me be humiliated by another male is a huge turn on. Go figure!

[subspeciesmale4u]

I have never been R/T with a Mistress. I have gotten close 2 times but with no luck yet. i will keep on trying

[Hime]

I don't think that you guys have the numbers against you as much as you think. I think that a lot of women enjoy being dominant, but aren't as active in the scene because it's really tough for women to deal with all the expectations that people in the scene, especially submissive men, have.

Most of the images we see of dominant women in the scene are models or professionals who are always dressed up in high heels and corsets, scowling and looking hot and sultry. As a switch, I've noticed that when I tell submissives that I want to dominate them, they expect me to be like a model or porn star, not a real person. I've had a lot of guys in the scene approach me, and I've never gone past a little bit of online play because I get so fed up with people expecting so much from me all the time, when THEY'RE supposed to be serving ME. The male doms I know get way more respect from their submissives, both male and female.

While I know that there are a lot of straight male subs out there lonely and frustrated because they can't find a female dom to play with, I think there are a lot of women out there like me, extremely frustrated because they want to dominate a guy but can't find any who are willing to treat them with genuine respect.

If I were you, I would go to the male doms you know and ask them how they have their submissives treat them, and try to treat the female doms you meet the same way. That will sometimes mean waiting for them to be ready to play instead of constantly bothering them whenever you want anything. I know that men are socialized to be aggressive, but you need to remember that women are socialized to feel threatened by male aggression. When you pursue us and demand attention from us all the time, we don't see it as submissive and flattering, we see it as you trying to dominate the situation, which is kind of a buzzkill when we're trying to be, well, dominant.

I'm not telling you this to bust your balls or make you feel bad for being single. I'm telling you this on behalf of all the lonely female doms AND male subs who are having trouble finding their complement, including myself and including some of you guys. If you follow my advice, I think it will be a lot easier to find a dom, or even to talk to a non-scene girlfriend about trying out your kink.

[Ozme52]

Excellent points Hime.

I'll add that you might want to brave a munch... and are far far more likely to find a domme that way... but as Hime points out... you have to be submissive... not merely horny.

And most dommes, from what I have observed, don't want "worms" or "sissies". No more than most doms want girls who are "doormats". At least... that's my perspective.

buttler... you might open a poll and ask dommes to report in regarding what they desire.

Choices being worm, sissy, attentive service sub, and whatever other types you think are common among male subs.

[fetishdj]

I have been with a Domme, mainly for photoshoot and video sessions. Also sessioned with a few online and played a little with some 'sort of' Dommes who didn't really consider themselves proper Dommes but still played the game like one (if you understand what I mean).

[collared_kitten75]

my wife is only starting to embrace her inner domme...otherwise, i have not been with one.

kitten

[Mwanting]

I am currently training my girlfriend to Domme me. Does that mean I'm topping from the bottom? I'm not sure. I guess the point is that you don't have to find someone all dressed up like Hime says. Just find that woman who is strong and help her dominance emerge.

[MJMcHugh]

I have a domme friend I play with fairly regularly and have for about five years. In fact, we're playing tomorrow