welcome
i have to askwhy would equal in your marriage make your r/ship a not fully D/s one? of course you're both equal unless you choose to roleplay otherwise! even then you cant really keep it up 24/7 unless you want to live your life as a doormat,less worthy and deserving human being? of course i dont know you but im pretty sure your husband wouldnt want that, and you said yourself that when you push him too far he is ''Master'' im guessing thats when he gets 'strict' or more authorative? and when you're well behaved well isnt that you're behaving in the way that HE expects of you.being a Master doesnt mean he has to be giving orders,chastising you and generally being your keeper 24 hours a day a Master is also kind considerate caring thinks of your needs and sometimes ''serves'' his sub too
you make your r/ship work however suits you the best.