Sorry if I'm repeating anything here.

When I was younger, I internalized what I thought was the feminist belief that signs of 'masculinity' and 'femininity' were inherently sexist, and in trying to 'defeminize' myself I think now I was deeply misguided and it made me a bit lonely. Now I'm older actually I still think most of what we consider masculine or feminine is a social construct, but since I too am a social being living in the same milieu, I reach for my lipstick...

I think I got feminism wrong when I was youthfully intense, but now I'm older I think of it more as it applies to society and not just me. Equal pay, right to choose, right to be educated, vote - of course. You don't need to be a feminist to agree with these. I would call that 'humanist' if it didn't mean something else - 'personist', perhaps. If life treats women unfairly just because they are women, it can do the same to men. Men can be just as much victims of the so-called patriarchal society as women are. Chauvinistic attitudes, male and female, have been taught to us by society's greed, selfishness and ignorance. 'One is not born a woman, [or man].one becomes one.' de Beauvoir. Much of this we can challenge, but there is a great deal yet simply to acknowledge and understand before we can hope to do anything about it.

Feminism, to me, means challenging any orthodoxy that disadvantages women as human beings. This is not the same as putting men down.

But I have to admit, I don't quite get women who claim there is no relevance in feminism or who revile it. One only has to look around the world and see the powerless, uneducated, grinding struggle that is the lot of too many girls/women. Perhaps it's perfectly legitimate and even a perverse sign of success that what women fought for on your behalf, you now feel free to dismiss, so much is it taken for granted. But I would remind you, women are struggling over the world, the system is unfairly loaded against them. I am thankful for the advantages I enjoy as a Western woman, but let's not suppose that feminism can have no greater relevance than to insist men do dishes and women break balls.

I have realised I can be feminine, feminist and submissive. It's all do to with realising your worth and supporting the worth of others.