no you are none of the negative things you label yourself with, far from it, you are you, and very open and honest you are too.

I dont suppose you fully realise how appealing and attractive real honesty and truthfulness are, but trust me, if more were as genuine as you, i know you would not feel as you do.

We all get get scared, question ourselves, and surroundings, of course we do, our perceptions and feelings are often very fragile.

I hope you find that which you seek, and in the interim, i hope you have a lot of fun and meet some great people during your search.

Welcome and enjoy

*hugs you*