I hate to disagree with Silke but, as I stated somewhere earlier in this thread I think, I believe all this disrespect is directly proportional to the lack of corporal punishment. Spare the rod, spoil the child is beginning to ring more and more true every day. I didn't beat my kids, only spanked them. They hated it then. It didn't happen all that often but it was always on the table as an option if they didn't behave. I guess I never will understand what the threat of talking does to try to discipline a child.
No problem with disagreement whatsoever, Warbaby - I like open discussions and they'd be pointless if we all subscribed to the same position.

It's not the threat of 'talking' that got me in line eventually...it was knowing that I have disappointed my parents. There were clear rules put up for us kids and if we went against them we knew that we overstepped a line and the trust placed in us was damaged. We had to face consequences then - and those consequences were directly associated with where we had fucked up. Most of the time the privileges we had earned were taken away or restricted for a certain time, until we had proved worthy of them again and showed responsibility.

I think if the basic values are lived in a family, the children will adopt them. There were never any serious mishaps with me or my sister, we pretty well behaved kids and teenagers...and that didn't come through corporal punishment, but through discussing values and arguing different points of view with our parents. And believe me, the 'threat' of having disappointed my parents was stronger than any fear or respect of a spanking could ever have been. Maybe we were just good children and didn't need the extra punishment? I don't think so.

By the way - it's still the same with me today, the same pattern is at work in my BDSM life. I'm way more affected by knowing I disappointed my Master, having to confess and talk about it, finding ways to put things right again, promising to never do it again and mean it....the physical punishment is a good point to emphasize this and drive the message home - but even without it, the talk alone is what gets me and motivates me to do my best in the future...it's NOT the fear of punishment!