Are kids growing up to fast?

[Silke]

My way of thinking says that too much permissiveness and leniency in only talking runs the risk of other damages. A child raise this way could and often does believe he can do anything he wants and get away with it. That to my way of thinking is also damage.

Yes, I agree if we're talking about too much permissiveness and leniency. That however was not my point. I'm all for setting boundaries and having the child face consequences when overstepping the line. I just disagree on the means to use for punishment or discipline. There's other ways than physical punishment, like taking away privileges for a certain amount of time, having the child apologize and find a way to make up for whatever happened...the possibilities are endless. And I've always found that punishment should be linked directly to the situation that went bad - I'm not sure that's possible with a spanking.

[Tojo]

I think it's important to remember that all parents just do their best with whatever information they have available.

Back when I was a kid it was seen as the 'done thing' to chastise- even in public. The generation before me was brought up probably more brutally.

A relatively short time ago an adult could give a kid he didn't know a 'kick in the pants' for unruly behaviour, while nowadays you'd go to jail for it.

After hearing some of the stories I've heard whilst counselling men, about abuse I'm very tempted to say all forms of physical punishment are wrong. That's just my opinion though, all kids & all parents are different.

Me, I've never had any & probably never will. I've made enough mistakes with my girls!

Now kiss & make up you two....

Tojo

[Warbaby1943]

Yes, I agree if we're talking about too much permissiveness and leniency. That however was not my point. I'm all for setting boundaries and having the child face consequences when overstepping the line. I just disagree on the means to use for punishment or discipline. There's other ways than physical punishment, like taking away privileges for a certain amount of time, having the child apologize and find a way to make up for whatever happened...the possibilities are endless. And I've always found that punishment should be linked directly to the situation that went bad - I'm not sure that's possible with a spanking.

We are never going to even find medium ground here because I disagree with most everything you say because of examples I have seen over the years. I'm just going to leave it at hopefully we can agree to disagree. Still love ya Silke.

How's that Tojo?