I am Unitarian Universalist, so I like to explore all scriptures and religions (though my core beliefs are...and probably always will be, Christian) and points of view, even if I dont subscribe to them as a whole.

In one such exploration I came across this site http://www.christiansandbdsm.com/cbdsmintro.html ...I think you might find it helpful (they answer BDSM & Christians questions you raised and address many of the issues that come up as Christians attempt to reconcile their faith with their desires for BDSDM-type activities)...in any case its an interesting site to browse through.

Hope this helps.