Quote Originally Posted by Laila View Post
Generally in life I almost only respond to positive reinforcement. Starting in highschool - if a teacher would give me a slightly worse mark to 'motivate' me, I'd get so angry and pouty and generally destructive. Good marks though always helped me wanting to keep them and improve on them.

Its the same now at work - if I receive praise, I want to prove I deserved it and will work so much harder. If however, I feel like someone think I should be working harder of explicitly tells me so (hasn't actually happened I just interpreted something that was said wrong), i will do it - but grudgingly and not as good as after positive reinforcement.

Or with loosing weight. As soon as I feel a guy doesn't like me for my weigh which should be a great motivation to loose some, I can't do anything. Its the worst mental block imaginable. On the other hand when I do feel loved, accepted and attractive, its almost easy.

Now in a bdsm context - to be honest I haven't actually been punished for wrong-doing before. lol i'm a very good girl and well, we haven't been in a true Master/slave relationship for so long.
Positive reinforcement makes me glow with pride though, wanting to get better and better - lol and seriously dreading the day I might disappoing him. Not because I'll get punished but because of the disappointment.
This is so me, I am exactly the same way in that regard, thank you for saying it Laila....but when it comes to bdsm...I am not the type that would make a mistake on purpose (smart ass comments dont count ) just to get punished,...I am far from masochists, but still there is a level of pain I find enjoyable and certainly his ability to do it is a turn on....but corporal punishment is also a useful deterrent...it eases the pain I feel for causing him disappointment...and I do need the security of knowing he is strong enough to do it. So I do need both positive and "negative" reinforcement...balancing...well its what makes life and this lifestyle so fun.