This is so me, I am exactly the same way in that regard, thank you for saying it Laila....but when it comes to bdsm...I am not the type that would make a mistake on purpose (smart ass comments dont count) just to get punished,...I am far from masochists, but still there is a level of pain I find enjoyable and certainly his ability to do it is a turn on....but corporal punishment is also a useful deterrent...it eases the pain I feel for causing him disappointment...and I do need the security of knowing he is strong enough to do it. So I do need both positive and "negative" reinforcement...balancing...well its what makes life and this lifestyle so fun.