that i understand--completely. As i do your first post. I won't go into 'advice' on how you could or should proceed, i honestly can't help there. Maybe it's true, what tyd says in the sense that you've found a comfort zone and you're not entirely sure if you want to leave it; either way your submissive side is not another person, it's a part of you---what i do is try to keep it under control. Remind myself that it's in _my_ head and the other person isn't really dominating me, i just think he is, lol.
Confused and eager, my [short] life story. Good luck with however you pursue this. Sorry for not being much help, though. *smiles*