This is from Dan Savage's Savage Love column of Sept. 25. Obviously, it is not directed at M/s relationships, but some people on this site might find it useful:
I am a 27-year-old hetero female. My new boyfriend is 24 and kinky. Before I met him, I had never been bound or spanked or had any kind of sex that was not "vanilla." I have enjoyed everything we have done and I trust him. Now he wants anal sex. He has what I think is an average dick—based on the three others I've seen—but I'm afraid that it will be painful. Am I a big baby?
Another Needing Anal Lessons
I order you to start having anal sex with your boyfriend immediately, ANAL. Tons of anal—but without letting your boyfriend's cock come anywhere near your ass, 'kay?
In other words: yes to anal, no to dick. Think tongues, lubed-up fingers, very small toys, and smooth, clean vibrators used non-insertively (which is fancy sex-advice talk for "lay the vibrator on your asshole, don't shove it the fuck in"). If you find that you enjoy other kinds of anal sex—and you will—your boyfriend's dick may start to look like a shiny new toy, or an enticing upgrade, and not the intimidating asshammer that it appears to be now.
But for this to work, your boyfriend has to swear on a stack of Jack Morin's Anal and Pleasure & Healths that he will pleasure your ass, and get you off, without attempting to rush you or pressure you into dick-in-ass buttfucking until you decide you're ready.