I allways reccomend you get professional medical help from a lisenced therapist at the very least.

It is allways difficult dealing with triggers,, especially triggers that are somehow for no reason we can imagine related to our loved ones.

You say his voice doesnt cuase any negative response?

A blindfold might be in order, or mabey if he changes the way he does his hair??

Also as firstmatefyrefly is saying you might be able to re-focus on the other things to the exclusion of the part thats cuasing the trigger to occur, it wont be easy and may take a lot of time and effort to accomplish. The goal is to redefine the cuase of the trigger into a positive feeling as opposed to a negative reminder.

We have used "exposure" and "redefinition" techniques for much of my own therapy.

Recently I have been having EMDR sessions with my therapist ans it is working pretty well.

Eaither way if your going to be serious with this guy you have to at least consider telling him about it.

My Owner had to basically start from sctratch with me, so many things... from the most mundane acts such as plain old fashion touching, ....to the extremes of some bdsm play activities... cuased triggers for me. (I still can't go down the stairs into the basement despite my best efforts) sighs, one day mabey.

It was and still is in some respects a long struggle to identify and redefine these things that remind me of what happened from something terrible into something I can handle if not find pleasurable or even wonderful again.

I do hope this helps you some Stace.

...and as allways feel free to contact myself or the Abuse Survivor's Sanctuary for support (found in the social groups section of your profile page), we will help in whatever way we can.

hugs and kissess
be strong my sisters
denuseri