I understand the whole we-are-what-the-dom(/me)-wants-us-to-be argument, but I feel like it is a bit... fantastic.

Most submissives I've met have not given up their identity for their dominant. They may submit whole heartedly, but they have limits, they have personal preferences etc etc. And their gender most definitely has a role in how they view the world, and thus BDSM. The idea of totally and entirely giving up one's identity through submission IME (which, granted, is mostly reading forums) is more often an ideal or fantasy than a true, 24/7 reality.

I know, personally, that I probably would not sub to another person on the whim of my dominant. It just isn't that simple to me, and I most definitely have gender preferences. (I am much much more likely to want to sub to a male dominant than a female one.)

Therefore I stand by my argument that it should be all or nothing! (plus it simplifies matters for my poor overworked brain)

-cheeky grin-