Hello and welcome!!! I second the advice to check out a local community. I don't know about buffalo communities (i believe there are two, and one in niagara on the lake) b/c I've heard bad things about one of them, and can't remember which one.

However, I've heard good things about the Rochester Kink Society. http://www.rochesterkinksociety.com/home.html

Good Luck!
SP