patience, rome wasnt built in a day, and you got a lot of building to do. It took me a long time to find the one i am with now and we happened purely on accident. It seemed that when i stopped looking, he fell right into my lap. For me it was/still is a hard road, finding who you are, and where you fit in, plus trying to find someone to share it with, is hard. Its also hard to not get down on yourself when nothing comes your way. Finding the one in a vanilla world is hard, so finding the one in the bdsm world is ten times harder. Communication, trust, openness, honesty, patience, and being yourself are all major players when you are trying to find that one.

one main thing i want to say is, dont give up. The road may be hard, and long, also lonely but dont give up. Someone else is walking that same path, to get to you. The other failed relationships you have are just side roads, not fully derailing your jounrney just making you more aware and expierenced. No one else may believe in fate and destiny but i certainly do. Fate is a road, destiny is the compass, and love is the map.