Question...

[TheseDays]

Can a submissive have endured so much in her lifetime that she as a female human being can stay with someone because she feels she owes someone?


A submissive says that they no longer love someone because of something that a dominant does. But that submissive is willing to stay solely to keep the dominant happy.

Is this even possible?

A submissive claims that she will never love said Dom again. Is there any chance of this being a false statement?

odd questions yes. I am asking out of curiosity.

I already know my plan of action. I am just simply looking for others input.

[damyanti]

I dont think it has anything to do with one being submissive...a lot of people stay in bad, broken and or irreparable relationships (and imo if the other person makes you feel empty it is a bad relationship) unnecessarily, and often detrimentally, long...though, I suppose, they have their reasons.

You can't make someone love you. Not even if you do everything right. Not even if you listen to everything they are saying. Not just the words they choose to speak, but the words unspoken. Not even when you think you can have anyone you want. Not even when you want to give them pieces of yourself. Not even when you hold them in the middle of the night. Not even if you're there whenever they need you. And there when they don't. Not even if you'd do anything for them.

You can try. Patience, honesty, patience, persistence....it might work.

But it rarely does...ultimatively, You can't make someone love you, if they dont. Not even if you can't stop loving them.

My view on that is...I dont want someone who doesnt love me. It says nothing about me as a person. The only thing it means is that we are incompatible and thats ok...but I cant stand idiots who waste my time by saying that they do, when they dont really mean it. And I find those incapable of accepting rejection tiresome.

[lucy]

Can a submissive have endured so much in her lifetime that she as a female human being can stay with someone because she feels she owes someone?

People are staying with their partners despite being mistreated, beaten, abused and so forth out of a lot of reasons. Thinking they owe something to someone might be among those reasons. So, yeah, i guess that could be perfectly possible.
And i don't believe it has anything to do with being female and/or submissive.

A submissive says that they no longer love someone because of something that a dominant does. But that submissive is willing to stay solely to keep the dominant happy.

Is this even possible?

Same as above: Yep, it's possible. No, it's not a good ground to base a relationship upon (and possibly not even sane)

A submissive claims that she will never love said Dom again. Is there any chance of this being a false statement?

Yes, of course this can be false. But since it refers to the future and to predict the future is somewhat of a futile thing to do it could also be correct. Time will tell whether it was false or correct.

[DowntownAmber]

Not only are the above scenarios possible, they're pretty common.

Some folks do it because they believe they simply don't deserve any better than what they're getting, others have bought into the premise that to sacrifice for another is more noble than to actually pursue truth and happiness. Whatever the specifics, these types of relationships are all over the place.

[Soaul]

Everyone have a hierarchy of wants/needs. How your subs ranks her needs will determine her actions. Women have fear of harm, isolation and deprivations at their core. She may fear of isolation or deprivation more than harm and stay. Trust and open communications are key in a relationship. It sounds that this has been lost.

[TheseDays]

As I stated before I already know what my course of action is going to be.

But, I will simply state that. One should never say that they don't love someone unless they absolutely truly mean that.

Being shown the love of one person, in it's true form is a special thing. Yes people do things to make you doubt. Sometimes people do things that really test this love. But you need to find what is true. Sometimes people get angry. Sometimes people get pissed. It happens. But you need to decide if you are honestly willing to say that you don't love someone and mean it. Don't toss that phrase around if you get pissed off. That doesn't do anyone any good.

Only say things when you mean it. By mean it. I am referring to feeling it in your heart. Although some may say that their heart feels that way at the same time they are pissed I don't buy that. Take the time, calm down. Find what it really means to you. Emotions aside. If your heart can still find it to love someone (and you aren't lying about that) then I think there is still something there.

This is my belief...others may agree others may not. I don't care. All I care about is knowing how someone TRULY feels

[bip0lar]

uhm, i have uttered the words 'i hate you' so many times--he knows i never mean it. never. EVER. i actually mean the exact effing opposite. so, although some things that have been brought up here are quite to the point, don't forget the dynamics and norms of X relationship, D/s or otherwise. sometimes what one feels in their heart is perceived to be [by them] unacceptable, therefore is never mentioned, or, in some other cases, things are left unspoken just because there is no need nor want for them to be told.

--obviously you're referring to something more serious rathen than a typical phrase thrown at a Dom's face under x,y,z circumstances. as for the first questions, here's my completely subjective and probably wrong approach to it, but what the heck:
stay just because i feel i owe it to my Dom? yes. definitely. for ef's sake, i do that in any kind of relationship, there are several people whom i wish i had broken contact off with years ago, but i didn't. nonetheless, i knew what i got myself into when i kept allowing them in my life. it was a conscious [and, in hindsight, a silly] reason. Would i do it again? yes, i'm sorry, but i would. i might hate myself for it, but i know that i'd hate myself much, much more if i left. i'm not saying i would be selfish, i'm just sayind i would feel like it, which, in my books, is worse.
as for the rest, well, you've repeated you've got your mind made up, so i'm just typing for my sake here, just to get this thought kinda wrapped up in here. it might be a gender thing, it might be a role thing, it might be a personality thing--it's all the above that determine what you say and do to some degree.
pff, i've wondered off topic, probably, and i'm more confused than i was before i started typing; my mind started giving me other options i need to look into before i type anything more hastily.

[TheseDays]

It is my understanding that people do make mistakes. Yes sometimes they make multiple mistakes. Is it sad that someone puts so much faith and hope into love that they hope one can understand these mistakes?

It seems that I have unfortunately found myself in this situation. I have made another mistake. I regret making it. I understand that it was a mistake. I accept that.

But is it so wrong of to hope that love will actually prevail and be a vehicle to allow someone to see that I really am sorry for what I have done and be able to somehow...not forget but be able to see that in some way I did it because I love them? Now I know I am going to catch flack for that, so be it.

All I know is that I have this love for someone...and I am messing with that, and probably lost that because I am afraid of things.

We are all allowed to be afraid. But we can only hope that other can see through the issues at hand and see why they found love in you the first place and hopefully be able to see why it CAN work.

*shrugs*