Surely it depends on the individual relationship above anything else. My current relationship (D/s) is the closest i have ever known, although that is because of the love between us as much as the intimacy and trust inherent in domination. That said, my previous relationship was (for the most part) vanilla - we were also extremely (even sickeningly) close and in love for a long time.


There are plenty couples, vanilla and otherwise, who simply 'go through the motions' without any real closeness, for whatever reason - be it sexual need, companionship or habit. In such cases, no amount of whips and chains can forge an emotional connection.

I truly believe that a real emotional connection - call it love, call it what you will - should be one that persists through M/s, D/s or vanilla and is based on something a little deeper