why bother with titles anymore?

[kurious25]

I almost feel like this is a silly post...but yet I felt compelled to add my 2-cents.

Labels, or titles, are a nice and easy way of letting people know where you generally fall, but to force people to stick to those labels and never grow, or explore, is confining and boring. Have you always been exactly what you define yourself as now? Do you really see yourself not adapting or changing how you define yourself later in life? And why do you feel such a need to stick everyone in a neatly labeled box to define them. How dull that seems!

I think that trying to fit all the variables into nice tide Dom or sub category, with everything else being switch, is an oversimplification. In your example of straight,gay,bi for instance you state that if you kiss a member of the same gender you are bi...but I for one have kissed another female and would not consider myself bi at all. Sexually I am attracted to men, but in multiple situations I have kissed a girl. Once just to try it (and lips may be lips, but girls kiss way differently than boys do), and on other occasions because my partner "requested" that I do so.

Sexuality is more of a scale than a one or the other box. In fact in research most people are found to fall somewhere between "totally heterosexual" and "totally homosexual" and yet very few identify as bi-sexual because their preference is for one or the other.

I feel that roles within BDSM world are very much the same. Some may not identify as switch, but would be willing to try a role-reversal with their partner. Or, just be curious to understand the other side of things better. Again, speaking for myself, I am a submissive...but my partner suggested that iit would be good for me to understand the role of Dom, so I have taken a few small forays into being the Dominant with him. But, I realize that it doesn't "fit" for me. In this case experimenting has cemented my role, but since I have experimented would you still call me a switch?

Titles are handy, but I think letting them define you and make your decisions for you is to cut yourself off from experience, and unlike you I am a huge advocate for experimenting and exploring. After all isn't that why most of us are here in the first place?

[FrozenGrapes]

I almost feel like this is a silly post...but yet I felt compelled to add my 2-cents.

Labels, or titles, are a nice and easy way of letting people know where you generally fall, but to force people to stick to those labels and never grow, or explore, is confining and boring. Have you always been exactly what you define yourself as now? Do you really see yourself not adapting or changing how you define yourself later in life? And why do you feel such a need to stick everyone in a neatly labeled box to define them. How dull that seems!
.........
Titles are handy, but I think letting them define you and make your decisions for you is to cut yourself off from experience, and unlike you I am a huge advocate for experimenting and exploring. After all isn't that why most of us are here in the first place?

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR RESPONSE!! I am so over the back and forth You are Dom/me and you are sub and OMG you just called her Miss!! You MUST be a switch!! why the hell does it matter??
I mean really it is just a RELATIONSHIP.. every person we cross affects us different ways.. one person amy come along and i may feel automatically Dominant and protective over them, but then I have a Miss that make my knees weak! What does it matter?
like it was said.. it is a great way to generalize what or who you feel you are.. but there is so much more to a person than them being Dominant or submissive. It may be mold alot of what they do but it is not all of who they are.. and experimenting is just that.. you experiment to learn, to learn yourself and how others react, and really all these debates constantly in chat about Dom vs sub, sub vs slave, all of them vs switch.. why focus on a simple a title that in reality means NOTHING.. just because you SAY you are Dominant does not make you a good Dominant or good person.. just because you SAY you are sub does not mean you really want to submit, you might just be playing too.. so in reality.. why get hung up on labels?
Get to know the PERSON and then you never know what will happen..
I am a Domme who has subs but My Miss is a submissive who has a rl Dom.. so what do you call that? like i said.. every person we cross affects us a different way and getting caught up on titles is just shallow, get to know the person and go from there.. otherwise you are cutting off alot of options and some great opportunities to grow maybe...
Just MY 2 cents...

[shayna{L_D}]

I am so over the back and forth You are Dom/me and you are sub and OMG you just called her Miss!! You MUST be a switch!!
why the hell does it matter??
I mean really it is just a RELATIONSHIP.. every person we cross affects us different ways.. one person amy come along and i may feel automatically Dominant and protective over them, but then I have a Miss that make my knees weak! What does it matter?

you experiment to learn, to learn yourself and how others react

Get to know the PERSON and then you never know what will happen..

Grapes i like how you put this, i realy do..

Im a submissive, but im finding i may be a switch.

my "dom" (we dont like to use titles...heh imagine that) has a Miss, but is dom to me.. and im submissive to him. what do you call that?!

I agree with everything in that little quote box up there Grapes. couldnt have said it better myself.