Nice job on the changes, and quick work too!

As to publishing the story, I would suggest waiting for a while so you can gain more from the lessons to be learnt in each level. Of course, this is up to you, but you will find you will want to keep fine tuning this piece as you progress.

What I would like you to do next is to write a short passage ( no more than 5 paragraphs but at least 2 paragraphs) describing something you feel passionate about. This does not have to be erotic. I am looking to see both how you use words and the emotion you can put into the piece.

Feel free to PM or ask here if you have any questions.