You wrote:
“So the only thing that I can say to people as far as why they catch me on dirty, pervy, bdsm sites is "It's a lifestyle". Which they don't understand. Let's face it, bdsm is almost another culture. Any ideas on how to explain this... that it isn't just about sex?”

How does a small group of adherents of 1 religion explain their beliefs when living in a much larger population of a different religion?

Quote from Wikipedia:
“BDSM is often practiced within the context of a limited and defined encounter known as a BDSM scene. Such scenes often have ritualistic aspects, complete with modes of behavior, forms of address, codes of conduct, dress codes, and many other aspects of theater and role playing. As such encounters are often – but not always – at least partly sexual in nature, people outside of BDSM have a tendency to view it as a form of "kinky sex"”.

It seems to me as though what you’re asking for here is to somehow magically educate the mainstream population on BDSM. While highly laudable, I’m not sure this is an achievable goal. Those who understand BDSM, are implicitly in the lifestyle. Those who don’t, never will be. (I’m not saying wiki is correct, I’m saying wiki is correct about the common PERCEPTION of BDSM.)

You also wrote “do as I say and I will be your slave”. Do you really mean this literally? Or were you trying to say something along the lines of “understand me; and I will be your slave”.