The hardest part for me so far came today, actually.

We just had a weekend together and He went home yesterday. He was very tired & needed to recover, sleep and feel better. Honestly, so did I but I am at work.

The NEED for him is the hard part.

I love him. I worship him. He's my heart and my breath. But I had not realized just how much I depend on him because he has never NOT been there before. We talk every day, for hours. On the phone and on messenger. Not having him today was just... unbearable. And I was upset with myself for needing him so badly. I wanted him to get well, why was I being so needy when he needed time for himself?

He has been reassuring me, telling me he loves that I need him so much. That he loves me.

I have never needed anyone this much in my entire life. I'm very much an independent woman.

*sigh*

This will take some mental gymnastics to get used to. I'm sure there will be more challenges to come, but this was the hardest one to date.