A guy who tries, as someone else in this thread said, to look the part too hard, is prone to turn me off.

As I have never gone after the sort of man who is considered "good-looking" (model-type) by most women I know, and as itīs not the looks but the radiation a person gives that attracts me, itīs hard to tell.
If the man does not have "that special something", he can look great to the rest of the world, and still do nothing for me...

What I enjoy in the online community is that one can get to know people without judging first by their looks. Looks can be very deceiving. I also met my fair share of men in real life who were considered good-looking by the majority of people, and who acted as if their looks should be sufficient, and I had no right to expect an interesting personality behind the face (a total and complete turn-off for me).

My r/l hubby who is also my Dom happens to fit my ideal pretty perfectly (more on the scruffy side, and my best gay friend usually describes him as The Viking), but there I simply got lucky. We started out for a loose play-only thing, and it evolved into a real relationship pretty quick, and later we got married...

What Iīd like to share, however, is how I met my first real life acquaintances in the lifestyle, a couple who taught me the first steps and allowed me to ask questions until their ears bled... it was so hilarious.

I had gotten together with the woman first, who spoke of her Dom in a way that made me expect a cross-breed between Marlon Brando and Julius Caesar (I am not kidding here).
When she introduced us later, I was very disappointed to find a completely normal looking guy - I completely underestimated his domly abilities. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig mistake! *laughs*