I'm scared. Really scared. I was ok on the plane yesterday, i even enjoyed the looks of the other passengers at the airport and on the plane. I actually basked in the attention i got in the skimpy dress, especially when i looked at Charon, how pleased she was with me.
I felt even better in the evening, playing with and pleasing Charon and Jon both at the same time. It was incredibly hot. I wish we'd do that more often. I don't know how many times i had to clean either Jon's cock or Mistress' pussy, but it certainly was nice to provide that service. Too bad Jon never really fucked me, he just teased me a bit, but never fucked me long enough to cum, as much as i begged. He saved all that for Charon. Well, i guess that's the part i have to play: Give pleasure to others and hope i'll eventually be rewarded. At least i was allowed to cum while watching them and masturbating myself. But it would surely be nice to be fucked hard again, it's way too long since the last time.
I woke up rested and still relaxed, but started to get nervous when we got into the cab, and when we arrived at this studio i was starting to get scared.

And now i'm standing here, the pen in my hand, and i want to cry and run. The three black guys never said a word. They just stare. I think i could handle it if they were leering at me, but they just stare coldly, as if to say „you're just a piece of meat and we don't give a damn about you at all.“ And that's quite possibly the whole truth: I'm just a piece of meat, fuckmeat, an object to play with, torture and throw away when they're done with it. Or to be precise, when they're done with me.

I do believe that i won't be punished when i don't sign that release. But will Mistress be disappointed if i don't? I think so. I also fear she will look down at me with contempt for having backed out. I look at her, trying to find out what she thinks, but she's looking at Jon, who doesn't show any emotion, he has put up his pokerface. I don't need to look at the guys to know that they're eager to play with me and want me to sign the paper.

Why did he say that with the ER? It was bad enough to see those guys, now i am really not sure if i should do this. Maybe i better get out of it as long as i can. But then again, i know that when i go thru that i will be very proud when i watch that movie, and i know that Mistress will reward me.

I see they all start to get impatient, watching me, but i just cannot decide. I feel tears welling up inside me. But no, i must not cry now. I swallow, fight back the tears and step forward, taking hold of the release form.
A last glance to Mistress Charon who smiles at me, but it isn't a very confident smile. I see that she's worried about me too.
I scan the paper. All it says is that i agree with the film being distributed in every possible way. No word about payment or anything. Well, that's the least of my problems now. Besides, i don't do it for the money anyway.

I almost can't write my own name, my hands are trembling so much. But finally it's done.
I'm fucked, i know i'm fucked...

When i look up i see a tear in Charon's eyes, and i almost start to cry too. But what's worse is that the expression on the three black guys' faces didn't change one bit. They all stare in the same cold expressionless way they did all the time.

„Well, perfect. Let's start then.“ Jon guides us to a wide door that opens to the studio. Once inside, i almost faint. It's full of stuff perfectly suited to a medieval torture chamber or some lab where poor apes are put to all kinds of awful tests.
Then i realize that i just peed myself.