keep your mind to yourself!

[Diablo]

Communicate, communicate, communicate and then communicate some more.

Regardless of the nature of the D/s relationship there is still a partnership and support structure that goes both ways Doms have it a bit easier being able to overtly demonstrate that.

You love this woman you have chosen to be your sub and who has consented to being yours. Then love her, support her and guide her. Just keep her past in mind as you take her into your joint future.

For communications, as an example, set aside a joint activity or just a hour or so a day where she is free to speak with out repercussions. Reinforce that while she is Yours she is still the woman who you fell in love with and want to guide and protect.

Submission does not mean that the sub has to stop being them self.

[KitsToy]

I've no experience with nurturing someone emotionally abused in a D/s relationship, but I have been through a lot with close friends. I think in part, I feel the need to help, and so they find me.

It may seem contradictory to the D/s relationship, and it very well may be. When I've helped friends through their abuses, I'd given them control over everything we'd do and encourage them every step of the way. With each decision they'd make and each success they'd find, they'd become stronger and regain more of what was taken from them.

To apply this to your relationship as Dom and sub, I'm not entirely sure, as the line would be very grey. I'd think it would be most important to allow her the power to find herself once again. This may mean having a more vanilla relationship.. or perhaps the better wording would be D/s lite.. and allow her the power over herself that she needs in order to heal, all the while teaching her that D/s can be greatly rewarding and reinforcing that you are always there to protect her.

I think what I am trying to say is, being there to protect her and help her is wonderful, but you should be warey of protecting her from herself. If that makes sense. I'm sorry if it sounds nutty, though.. I didn't sleep last night, and I barely function without a nights rest.

Best wishes-
-Kit'sToy