Since I'm new here I'll introduce myself; hope to become part of the regular bunch.

I'm 30 and live on the west coast of the US of A. Highly intellectual type who needs to unwind now and again. I've been interested in sub bx since I can remember my first rape fantasies. Have lived out power play though casual encounters, mostly just getting off on being the seducer/ee. I guess the term is "switch"?

Married now and trying to figure out how to bring the power play into a marriage grounded in friendship and affection, and with a partner for whom the bdsm scene is unappealing. After yet another crazy sub dream, I woke up yesterday determined to find a community, and here I am.

Yesterday it occurred to me that I can reconsider my current relationship in new terms, and can recognize and take pleasure from the ways I "serve" my fella. It was a nice one for me, especially given my fella's general disinterest in bdsm culture. But I'm wondering how to expand, and how to draw him in, if possible. You can see my question along this line posted on the newbie forum (How to "bring it up" and Marriage).

I'm just so happy to meet you all, and to read how diverse our stories are. I certainly don't fit into any of the stereotypical boxes I thought bdsm was all about! Thanks to this site for helping me out there.

I'd love to hear more from my sisters out there on how to bring power play to a marriage, the change from casual to marriage, how to explore my own side without breaking the terms of my commitment -- some swinging w/ mutual participation is ok, but I don't see my fella swinging this way, and online "affairs" are off limits too. But I want to explore this sub side, and not sure how to do it. HELP!