I sat down, nervously twitching my hands so that the empty cup looped round one finger jumped erratically up and down. I watched the beautiful woman in the tight shorts walk seductively past into the kitchen and wondered how I had come to be in this lucky position. Alone in a house with a goddess.

Her head popped round the kitchen door and a pair of piercing eyes transfixed me to the settee. My hands stopped fidgetting as she opened her perfect mouth to speak.

"I assume you have sugar with your coffee?"

I didn't, usually. The sugar was for baking. But I found it hard to say anything to contradict her. I nodded, ashamed of my muteness.