Why are so many BDSM girls fat and ugly??

[Mobius]

Originally posted by Neopadinski
Youngsubboston said something before about beauty being in the eye of the beholder. I agree with that-in terms of people I know in real life. With women on the internet, you don't really get to know their personalities, and most of the time all you know about them is what they look like-therefore, I'm a bit shallow, because I really only like the women that are attractive. But like I said, I won't NOT like someone just because they aren't good-looking; hell, when I first met my girlfriend I didn't find her attractive at all, but as I got to know her personality, I began to appreciate her physical appearance as well.
But back to the subject of online women, when I'm looking for someone tied up, I look for the best looking ones. This is because I'm not really into the dom/sub kind of thing, my interests lie in kidnapping scenarios where the woman is taken to be a sex toy and nothing more (in fantasy, mind you).

Hm. There I go again...yeah, I should comment that I'm real opinion-oriented, and if given the chance, I could go on and on about a topic. But I also agree that my opinion may not be right, and therefore I try not to make it sound like it is. So yeah. Just wanted to clarify because the last thing I want to do is insult someone.

How do you know the online Women are women at all.

They could be 43 year old plumbers Named Tina or kittenfem with 5 o'clock shadows there but crack hanging out talking sweat nothings to you in the dark. Or worse some over eager police man trying to sting you with a sex crime. Mister Kidnaper guy.

Being online is nice one can find acceptance here with out the risk of a personnel rejection.

But here I go getting off topic oh what was the topic again

Why are women in bdsm photos fat and ugly?
What a stupid ignorant thing to say.
Look no one is perfect and the ones that are perfect are to bussy trying to stay perfect to be into bdsm. SO cut them some slack pick up a whip and play nice.
you think she actuly plays at BDSM in her off time dont think so it is only a way to get the big bucks

[bella]

I would just like to say that manwhore, your comment is incredibly immature and small-minded.

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, and while granted, I am not a size 4, I don't feel that I am ugly either.

A picture, so that you may decide for yourself.


and by the way, if you are judging people by the way they look and not their worth as a person, then you are probably one of the ugliest people on the planet.

'nuff said.

[Neopadinski]

Just so you know, Manwhore has been banned. Repeatedly. And I don't think he's going to be allowed on the internet ever again by anyone.

[bella]

i certainly hope not! What an asshole!!!

[D. Atrocity]

And I'm not going to fan this flame anymore than I feel I should. I just have a few points to make for you to consider.

And bigger women aren't always ugly. I know plenty of women with HOT love lives and husbands that worship the ground they walk on that aren't exactly super model material. It's really more in the features of the face to me that counts, for example, and the look deep in the person's eyes. The eyes are the gateway to the soul and some people can see that.

for my last point, if I've learned anything in this life, it's that you can't stereotype anyone in any group. Just because some bdsm girls are fat and/or ugly (and some will be, there isn't a weight limit for the site, thank heaven,) doesn't mean they all are.

[badspyro]

Some are, I admit, dut there's always going to be some that arn't quite to your likeing, so why don't you look at the ones you do like? For all you know, many people may like bigger girls to the twigs that we normaly get... maybe a bit of meat once in a while is not a bad thing, plus it may make you apreciate the ones that you like more (although I doubt it ).
Badspyro

[Kalluss]

I was looking at some vintage porn (Hey, it was for a project) the other night and thought of this thread while I was observing some of the women who were considered beautiful in the 60's and 70's.

The women who were posing then were curvy, beautiful women. They were long before the heroine chic that glamourized the 'tit's on a stick' look that is what the fashion industry is telling people what is glamorous today.

As an experiment, I'd be interested to purchase a garment made today in a size 11, and then purchase one from a vintage store from that era in the same size and compare.

I work with a lot of women who considered pretty back then. They're in their 50's-60's now and are still attractive. I wonder how the women of today who are starving themselves to fit into that size whatever are going to look in the long run.

Just kind of rambling here. It's funny how your mind works after being up for 36 hours.

[zig]

As an experiment, I'd be interested to purchase a garment made today in a size 11, and then purchase one from a vintage store from that era in the same size and compare.

I work with a lot of women who considered pretty back then. They're in their 50's-60's now and are still attractive. I wonder how the women of today who are starving themselves to fit into that size whatever are going to look in the long run.

I normally wear a size 6 american in Women's clothes, size 5 or 7 in juniors. I have a pair of vintage cords from the 1970's, labeled size 9, and they are slightly too small for me at the moment. Sizes have definitely changed seriously. I would imagine the difference gets larger the farther back you go, until you hit the era before store-bought clothes were common.

[tehya]

I have humbly decided to respond to this thread, not the originator of it.

This is an issue that has been so much a part of my entire life... my weight! God how I can remember my mother putting me on diets as a very young girl. So from as far back as that, someone has always tried to mold me to their idea of what my body should look like.

This continued through to my adult life and has plagued me, even somewhat to this day. I have always tried to maintain a body weight that just seems unnatural for me. And let me just say that big people do not necessarily eat gross amounts of food. I don't, but I am a big woman.

I must say though, that since being introduced to BDSM and my Master, i have begun a transformation. Actually beginning to understand more about myself and my appearance. I'm big, but I am not ugly. My partner finds me attractive and well proportioned, and has never once asked me to lose weight. He would support me if I felt I needed to make a change to better myself, but that is it!

Some day I hope to get to the point that I can look in the mirror and be totally pleased and content in who I am. I'm working on it... But I have to tell you, it helps so much to see everyday people showing off everyday bodys... how sexy, erotic and honest is that!!!! I admire each and every one of you for it!

Master's tehya

[jaeangel]

Number one:
Who is to say what is fat and what is not? It's in the eye of the beholder, a phrase which has been repeatedly used on this topic thread and yet has been ignored by those who refuse to find the meaning in the spirit of the phrase. If fat is defined as being a specific number of pounds overweight according to some stupid medical chart some overeducated doctor has thought up, then I am fat too. I am 5' and 130 lbs. And I'm okay with that. Yes, I look at Jennifer Lopez and Brittany Spears and Lucy Liu on TV and wish I could look like that; but in the end, that's not who I am, and even if I were to change the outside I'd still be the same person inside. And that person on the inside is what matters. I have to look at myself every day in the mirror and be happy with the person looking back at me. Therefore, I'll do what I have to in order to be happy.
Another thing to think about; there are sites on which pregnant women are in bondage too. Do they count also as fat, Alex, Whipit/Manwhore, and anyone else that has something to say about the way a woman looks or doesn't look? Most men seem to have a 'thing' for pregnant women (I was working as a cellular sales rep in a mall kiosk through the last trimester of my first pregnancy, and I was getting propositioned by an incredible number of men. Even AFTER they saw my wedding ring! Girls, we've all heard it said that men have a thing for pregnant women; I'll tell you something, being pregnant, petite, and Asian all at the same time was like holding a T-bone steak in front of a starving man! Fat can be beautiful, too. Don't let anyone tell you you're fat and ugly. As long as YOU can look at yourself in the mirror and say 'I'm beautiful' then you are beautiful. Regardless of how the outside looks.
Men: If you haven't seen the movie 'Shallow Hal', then I suggest you go and rent it, and watch it with an open mind. It stars Gwyneth Paltrow...and I forgot who the guy was. The lesson inherent in the movie is that no matter what the girl looks like on the outside, what's inside matters most. Do us 'ugly/fat/unattractive' girls a favor, and watch it. It's a wakeup call.
Number two:
The First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America say that all persons are free to say what they wish, however they wish. However, the morals and societical norms of the time the Constitution was written vary greatly from the societical expectations of today. Things we say now could be construed as insults back then, and could actually cause duels to the death! Therefore, I call out Whipit/Manwhore. I demand that he present his sword and defend his opinion with his arm. And I warn you, I'm very good with a sword! I've had years of Tai Chi sword training!
All right, levity aside, what I'm trying to get at is that, while we are technically free to say whatever we wish, some opinions need to be CAREFULLY thought out before the words are allowed to fall. Freedom of speech also requires some common sense when one is speaking. If you don't think before you speak, you could get in a lot of hot water (the which you already know.) Temper your words with common sense. Nowadays, duels are fought with guns, rather than swords, and there are no steps counted/first blood rules. Piss off the wrong person and that person might come back and shoot you while you're sitting in the bathroom jacking off to Brittany Spears's picture!
Okay, that last was a little crude, and I apologize. But even the Supreme Court realizes that words should be processed with the brain before being allowed to leave the mouth. Why else do you think that Ku Klux Klan manifestos are suppressed and banned, and BDSM magazines, drawings, etc. are still sold? Because the one involves common sense and thought, as well as consent; the former involves uninformed racist views that do nothing but hurt people. If you go up to a Klansman and ask where the nearest good taco place is, I'll bet he'll be able to give you directions. Ask him whether he prefers wonton soup or hot and sour, he'd probably have an answer to that too.
Anyway, this is long winded enough. Please remember: Temper your words with wisdom, and respect the people around you (even online!). Remember, what you do will come back on you threefold. I hope that someday when the above-named offenders are old and gray and hobbling down the sidewalk, some young punk says 'what an ugly old man'. Then you'll know what it feels like to be judged.
Judge not, lest ye also be judged.

[leo9]

I was looking at some vintage porn (Hey, it was for a project) the other night and thought of this thread while I was observing some of the women who were considered beautiful in the 60's and 70's.

The women who were posing then were curvy, beautiful women. They were long before the heroine chic that glamourized the 'tit's on a stick' look that is what the fashion industry is telling people what is glamorous today.

It's been pointed out that judging by her measurements, which were very much on record, Marylin Monroe would never get so much as a bit part in today's media unless they wanted someone to play "the fat girl".

She never had to worry about the size of her butt. When she and Jane Russell were asked to put their footprints in the pavement outside Grauman's, she suggested that it would be more appropriate (since they already had prints of Jimmy Durante's nose and one of Betty Grable's legs) if Jane pushed her boobs into the cement and she sat in it.

[Kallie Thomas]

It's been pointed out that judging by her measurements, which were very much on record, Marylin Monroe would never get so much as a bit part in today's media unless they wanted someone to play "the fat girl".

Oh, yeah--I remember a few years back, Elizabeth Hurley was at some exhibit where Marylin Monroe's size 12 dress was on display. Hurley exclaimed, "Oh my God, if I were that fat, I'd kill myself!"

Says it all.

Kallie

[MrJerseyGuy]

Its probably moot since the originator of this thread is long gone. I've been following it since it started and find the continuing contributions interesting. I had a previous post myself from over a year ago. I just read a recent one which brought up a good point. I don't think anything relating to the bdsm scene is different from the vanilla world. Not with regards to looks/weight. Personally I prefer the titless anorexic crackwhore look (without the actual crack). But that's just my personal preference and what turns me on. To each his own. Can't we all just get along!

[tehya]

This is Master's proof that no submissive is either to big or ugly - but just right to the eyes that look upon her.

Master's tehya

[slavelucy]

This is Master's proof that no submissive is either to big or ugly - but just right to the eyes that look upon her.

That's a beautiful pic tehya...and i luuurve those chains!

Thanks for sharing it.

sl

[tehya]

That's a beautiful pic tehya...and i luuurve those chains!

Thanks for sharing it.

sl

Thank you luce! This picture and the one of the nipple device in the Nipple Training thread are the very first ones I have ever shared. Was a little nervous about it, but wanted to join the ranks of the brave and the beautiful... LOL - But honestly, my Master makes me feel as though I am the most beautiful of all women... and isn't THAT what it is all about... Being all we can for ourselves and our Masters. *smiles*

Hugs to you luce...

Master's tehya

[Shaditu]

This is Master's proof that no submissive is either to big or ugly - but just right to the eyes that look upon her.

Master's tehya

yes, she is sexy!

[Master_chris]

mmm nice bum, with a great body to boot

[b9dom]

Fat and ugly? Who are you to say that fat is a liability in a woman's attractiveness? For many men - Doms (including myself) and others - large proportions are a distinct asset. The term "ugly" is so objective it's unreal - and it means that those who use that word are blind to the inner beauty of soul and spirit which lies inside so many who don't fit into the fashion-model 'norm' of beauty.
I will not trade insults, but I would gently suggest that you get real.

[Mnemonic]

Ok I haven't posted allot on this forum yet but i've just signed up for a week and I've been thinking about this now so here goes my 2 cents, I dont want to offend people its just my opinion.

First of all appearance does count, i'm 20 years old and I work as quite a succesfull model so I know the importance of looks in our society, therefore I could never have sex with a woman wich im unattracted to. I am a perfectionist wich doesnt always works for me. However there are allot of girls that have the attractive looks but still are ugly ass hell, this is because of the inside of the woman, her personality, wich is reflected on her outside in the way she shines/looks/walks/drinks/laughs etc. (dont know the English word for this).

I'm gonna take this into more of a biological level. Appearance is a way for a woman to tell a man her genes are good. That is why we "the Western World" like thin peope and people in South Africa like fat woman (or men works the other way around as well). This is because in africa having fat shows that u can take care of urself and in the Westen countries it shows the opposite. This is a known and scientific fact wich has been studied. Woman also get more of an ) ( shape when they are futile and ready to mate, us men take this up in our unconciousness and find here more attractive at that moment.
And are more likely to have sex or flirt with her at those days. This is also affected by the psycological state of a persons mind. If a person feels not well they tend to reflect that in their clothing and care for their own body, that is why slim people are looked upon as more succesfull people.

I hope that explains why we (generally) like slim people over fat people on a deeper level...

Now why do I think the're allot of girls into bdsm fat?? First of all I think this is quite overstated but its a fact there are a little more fat people into bdsm then into regular sex.
I think the age is to blame, most girls on the net here are way into their fourties, by then woman get a bit fatter because of age, this is normal and happens with all woman. Yes even the "casual sex" type woman.

Here's the real point, I personally am 20 and attractive however I've not engaged into bdsm to this day. I've been interrested and have read websites since i was twelve though. I've done a bit of bondage (like 2 times soft bondage) but its quite a step to take at such a young age, u doubt if ur toughts are normal and stuff so u keep it to the regular sex. When u mature u will be more open to it and it doesnt matter as much anymore if u'r liked by other girls and woman (or men) the way it does on highschool and beyond. Then u want to fullfill what u always wanted, how u wanted to live ur life. But how do u do this, this is something I dont know how to do, how do u tell the girl u love u want to tie her up and dominate her.. and how to get her into it if she's not? Maybe she'll just think u are a weirdo and leave u. By that tiime u probably have a long term relationship u dont want to waste that easily.

I myself have a beautifull girlfriend wich is not into bondage wich I told her I like, I didnt told her I like bdsm cause she freaked out totally just about handcuffs. So im finding a hard time convincing her.

On the net u are sure the person u meet is interrested in bdsm what would he/she do on this boards anyway?? That makes it easier for woman who lost their relationship but want a bdsm 1 to find it online. Its a shame the're only US sites for this though cause iim from the netherlands

So here u got it, u'll find mostly woman on the net who are old enough to liuve up to their fantasies and woman who are seeking a man wich is into domination for sure. This also happens at high age because its kinda scary when ur just 18.


Last point, the're allot of sites featuring very beautifull girls into bondage, these are models but i've read somewhere in a thread they do this just for money is this true?? U think they dont like bdsm? Why dont they just do regular sex sites then?? Can somebody please explain??

I hope I clarified my opinion.. I did not mean to offend any1

Gerben de Oude

[fetish101]

Mnemonic, you have some very good points, and I agree with you that older (sorry everybody, but I'm 20 and 40 years old is kinda old...) people generally do have a much more grounded sense in what their desires are in life. that's not to say that younger people can't have the same type of awareness, but I think it is fair to note that people with more experience in the subject of sexuality would be more equipped to deal with issues such as bdsm. As far as your last point/question about models on American porn sites that appear to be doing it only for the money, I believe that is an accurate observation for the average porn star. However, I would suggest to you that you should check out any of the sites put out there by CyberNet Entertainment LLC (hogtied.com, meninpain.com, whippedass.com, wiredpussy.com, waterbondage.com etc..). I am convinced that the women (and men) that star on those sites are truly into bdsm and the like, and also would be considered main stream attractive (in the slim sense).

Man, this thread. Talk about flogging a dead horse!!

[yellowrose]

First off *spanks Fetish for calling her old*

Sorry Fetish I couldn't resist.

Mnemoric is right to a certain extent. Looks do matter. As much as we like to deny this fact it does. As we get older though I believe that our minds do change and what was attractive to us at 20 (or our more reproductive years) and what is attractive to me at 41 is vastly different. While I can appreciate a young mans look I find that I am not attracted to young men. Honestly I have trouble seeing a young man as my equal. Wow that doesn't sound quite right when written down but I assure you it was not meant like it sounds. They just don't have the life experience that older men have.

An advantage of age is that you have been there and done that and now off to explore new areas that many young folks haven't the time or emotional maturity to consider. I am not talking strictly D/s nor is this in any way a insult to the younger folks. Just that priorities and a persons focus changes over time. Young people are doing what they are biologically programmed to do, find a good reproductive partner. Even if reproduction isn't what they are after the mind (or basic instinct) doesn't know or care. The last thing I look for in a man is his reproductive capabilities. Personality, maturity, stability are far more important.

I can only speak for myself. I suspect that men due to their ability to reproduce at any age don't go through as great of a mind shift as females. It would make sense to me that the basic instinct would remain intact to a greater extent in males because of this and therefore looks would matter more to them.

A few old sayings:

Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.

One mans treasure is another mans junk.

[myri_SN]

hmm...
I have never been thin, nor am i old, am just about 28, my master is 38 soon.
I was nto sexually exerienced ( I had never even kissed a man in my life before ) when i first heard about BDSM ( well i mean first heard the word ). I always liked the subject when seeing it on tv, and i must admit i always fantasised about it one way or the other.
when i was nearly 25 i found out that bdsm exists, by accident. some guy pm'ed me and started telling me this abduction story, making me the main part, giving me tasks like a list of words to stick into his stories. I thought he was weird but i liked it a lot. he stopped talking to me as back then i refused to call him sir. i found it weird and shy (still am ) .
2 months later i was bored and searched the web and came along several bdsm sites. i thought i might just give it a go and look in chat, got myself a new yahoo id so my friends woudln't find out and off i went. from there on it went fast although it was about a year before i first met a dom in r/l to play. I met a few in the next months. the first time i had sex was roughly 2 years ago, less even. the main thing for me was pain and submitting. i refused to have sex.
I met my current master last year in august, very rushed after 2 days in chat ( i know not safe but i did it, i had to ).
i think the main thing that first hooked me to bdsm chat was that i was accepted and i didn't think of myself as weird anymore. although chat was not good enough after a short while hence i tried to meet people and get into r/l. which luckily i managed and i would never ever go back.

the thing that was stated yesterday that most young people in bdsm are thin and older ones are fat is sooooo untrue. i meet a lot of people at munches and clubs and they come in all shapes no matter what the age. i dont think there are any more 'fat' woman in bdsm than there are in nilla life.

oki enuff now...

hides again

[leo9]

i dont think there are any more 'fat' woman in bdsm than there are in nilla life.

I've probably said this before, but it bears repeating (after all, I said it ). I don't think there are more big women into BDSM, but I think there are more who are out in public spaces, presenting themselves as proud and sexy people.

The reason is that BDSM sexiness is about what's in your head and how you express it - your dominance, your submission, your capacity for taking or inflicting pain, how you build fantasies - and only secondarily, if at all, about how you fit conventional sterotypes of looks. So women who would be ashamed to show themselves if they were held to vanilla standards can step out proudly and say "I am a great slave/Mistress/painslut/nameyourfetish," and know that nobody (except the odd moron like the one who started this thread) will just say "Eeww, you're FAAAT!"

One of the things I like about this community

[slavelucy]

Man, this thread. Talk about flogging a dead horse!!

LOL. Yeah. In addition, i'm ashamed to admit, the only idea/sentiment/thought/emotion this thread has ever inspired in me is amusement at the very phrase 'BDSM Girls' as used in the title...for some reason, it really tickles my funny bone...i know not why, there's something so very..*thinks*..primitive and naive about it....that and the fact that it reminds me of the golden girls for kinky folk.

*continues to grin inanely*

i need to get out more.

sl

[yellowrose]

golden girls for kinky folk.

Can I be Sophia?

Picture this. . .1982 a delicate young woman steps into . . .

[Incubus Argenteus]

Although this discussion was over nearly a month ago, I wish to add two links to this thread based on studies about beauty.

http://www.gnxp.com/MT2/archives/002687.html

http://www.uni-regensburg.de/Fakulta...lish/index.htm

I hope no one will take these links in a bad way but more as an eye opener on the influence of our genes and the social influence on what is perceived as attractive.

[quietlycuffed]

ok, so this is my first post, and from my name well this might not have been the best topic for me to reply to.....


FAT?????....urrrrrrrrgggggghhhh..

ok, i may not be a beauty queen, but i am far from fat.. in fact i would venture to say that since the average size of a women is a size 12...most women on her fall somewhere relatively close to that size...

i am a little smaller, but not much..

now... about the men on here....***grins an evil grin***

are you all 35 185lbs, have a nice full head of hair???hmmmmmm???..think not...ok then... perhaps you are in fact looking in all the wrong places, or at pictures, instead of real live honest to goodness women...

i thought this was a place to come to find someone who compliments you..if one person or another does not do that, then move on, why criticize?, why stoop to a level as low minded as to make someone else feel small?, just to boost your own self worth?.

ok, my rant is done, i really am a nice quiet.. well ok, maybe not quiet..
a nice young lady with a mind of her own.. and no problem speaking whats on my mind. hahaha but then again, you asked the question....

[ProjectEuropa]

now... about the men on here....***grins an evil grin***

are you all 35 185lbs, have a nice full head of hair???hmmmmmm???..think not...ok then... perhaps you are in fact looking in all the wrong places, or at pictures, instead of real live honest to goodness women...

Uh-um slightly older than 35, weeelll a little more than slightly older with a birthday arriving like a car crash on Thursday but other than that, weighing in at 167 pounds at 5'8". Hair..hmm..thinning slightly on top. I'm pretty average all round..yep, all round. How is that for honesty?

I thought one of the things about the internet is that one can be who one wants. Oh well, I find it difficult to lie, it's just easier not to tell the truth!

Welcome!

[quietlycuffed]

thanks for the welcome!!

i agree, the annonimity is nice, especially if you are exploring and learning.
but he was so adomant about someone's appearance, that i thought a reminder or two would be helpful

it is one thing to present yourself one way, and another to be able to show yourself as you really are. in the case of weight, if you are ever going to meet, you will see this for yourself, so being upfront is the best choice i would think.

and since there are people here who are looking to meet eventually, i would hope that honesty was more the norm, not the exception.

thanks again for the welcome, sorry, if i was on a soapbox, being snowed in has made me a tad grumpy i think