Good advice, all of you. Thanks.

Like anything involving my beloved (almost) pet erish, this is something we are going to build up to. I was planning a training sequence sort of like this:

1) start with a little washing and external massage with lubricant.

2) insertion of a well lubricated finger tip.

3) internal massage. I've found this works a lot better than butt-plugs or any type of "stretching". There's nothing that needs to be "stretched", just trained to relax. Fingers have a sense of touch, to feel their way around the inside of a sphincter, feel muscle tension, and massage it away. No butt-plugs yet. Personally, I find them more dangerous than fingers. Small butt-plugs can "poke" if you don't have an insertion angle perfect, or if there is an "unexpected detour". As Ozme52 pointed out, what normally comes out is so much larger than what I am going to put in).

4) muscle control training. Think squeeze and release. Learn to feel the tension flow out as you release. Deepen that flow. Think autogenic meditation techniques, just on a muscle not typically controlled during such training.

At all stages, lubricant, to the point of "messy". I don't play without lubricant unless a partner already has experience in that area.

I don't know how long this training may take. erish may still be too tight for a fingertip in August. she may be so relaxed and open she's ready on the first day. Whatever happens, happens at her pace.

Ozme52, I like your breath control idea. I won't tell you exactly why my (almost) pet erish and I share amazing breath control, except that it is safe, sane, and involves one of the powerful, long held, shared interests that binds her and I together. Trust me on this one, either of us could make a La Maz technique mother of 8 look like a rank amateur at breath control.

I'm already finding such interesting things about the heart, soul, and body of my dear (almost) pet. she is so open and enthusiastic I frequently need to rein her in a bit. And she is so eager to please that I must really be careful what I ask of her, because she would readily agree to things I don't think she is anywhere near ready for. She means so much to me that I take my duty to safeguard her extremely seriously. I vow to protect her from all, including protrvting her from the strength of her own desires.

And her body is interesting. So robust in many ways: her pain tolerance is excellent, almost scary for one with no training. But she marks more easily than just about anyone else I've ever met, which is definitely "dangerous" in the sense of how her spouse may see things. Treading lightly, but making progress.