i humbly ask for advice from Someone...

[thir]

I agree, getting over the hurdle is the hard part, I'm always so... well, submissive around him except when I do manage to get in the mood and top him and do a.. well, I like to think a decent job and then he doesn't remind me of my place right after in some little way, calling me one of the many names or, doing some other little thing then I'm messed up for days, and I need a really good slap in the face (metaphorically) to get back to being comfortable in my own skin.

It seems to me that other than asking you what he wants, you should talk about how to make the transition back to your being a sub. How and when.

Shifting with the same partner is by some considered the hardest, and it would probably be good to have a procedure/ritual for that shift.

once I get in the mood i actually enjoy it, I just have a really hard time making the switch

Can you two think up a small ritual for you to go into top mode, and out of it?

He kneels, and give you a whip, or another thing that means something for you both. And when you go back, you do it?

Changing names? Give him a slave name?
His wearing a mask?
Your wearing a special costume, which is only for your top role?

Suggestions, you other people??

The only time that I ask him to provoke me is when he wants to do a scene raw, as he calls it, just me and him, no roleplay, no characters, nothing but my emotions and his. But even when angry I'm very non-confrontational, I try to avoid making rash decisions when I'm mad and think. I do this when he pushes me into topping him too, not intentionally, it's just how I deal with anger.

You might consider whether this doing it raw is right for you, or right for you at this time. Playing with real emotions is advanced and should be only for very experienced people who really and truly know just exactly what they are doing, how, and why!

If you are not comfortable with this, say no. This is also a sub duty, to inform the Dom of your limits.

I will definitely bring up planning the basics of a scene before hand, knowing what he wants me to do to him would help a lot, I don't know if I could do a script though, I would have to be very into the scene because I can't act at all, I can improve and empathize with how a scene would feel but I can't act.. I know strange. But I might still try it, it could be very helpful.

<nods> a basic scene would give you something to hold on to, while you learn.
Bur why act? And how?? All Dommes do things differently!
Just be yourself, and find your own style.
[/QUOTE]

[Sanapet]

Hmmm.. I had actually never thought of a ritual for switching in and out of the role. I think we would both have to put some very deep thought into it, but then , anything that's worth doing is worth doing right.

I know it's not good to play with emotions like that but it was honestly the only way I managed to get into the mood in the beginning, I mean I even had a hard time in rp to begin with.

I'll ask him if there's anything he would like to do when we switch, as a preference over everything else that is. -grins- heck, we might be able to incorporate it into some of our more far-fetched rps.

Thanks again for the help, and I'm really grateful for all the ideas everyone's giving me to get over this problem. I appreciate any help I can get, I'm almost at my wits end.