Quote Originally Posted by damyanti View Post
This was just to answer your question, but I really have no interest in explanation. I already heard all the flowery descriptions I can stomach.
Hon, it's not "flowery" just because you don't understand the post. There's nothing even remotely "romantic" in either one of those statements, they simply express that our values set up what we respond to in other people which in turn triggers the love emotion or doesn't. Hell, we can even substitute the word "like" in here for more surface level interaction if you still want to proclaim love as non-existent for all of humankind. Let's say one of your core values is a sense of honesty. If you meet a dishonest person, do you respond to them with a desire to bond? Prolly not. Unless, of course, they offer you financial security and that is more valuable to you than your affinity for the truth. Security is a higher value, you respond to it with a greater sense of urgency and devotion. If you value wealth, you may react to that by being drawn to a person of means, or perhaps just the opposite so you yourself can feel wealthy by comparison. All still a response to your own personal sense of values. Not flowery at all, just basic stops on the logic bus line from apathy to what we each define as love. I agree with cadence, we each choose and shape our own very unique definitions for love, and we each make it real for ourselves. And, for most of is, it's more rewarding to have partners that we trust respond to what we consider our positive traits as well.

People are complex, our emotions (even the ones more simple than love) are multifaceted and always built from multiple building blocks. Yellow is a primary. Blue is a primary. Blend them, you get green. Green is no less real than the two colors that made it. Add differing amounts of each ingredient, or introduce a third, your end result changes. Same with emotions. Same with love. If the green ends up fading in the sun, no one goes back and says the the color you started with wasn't real - it just didn't last in its environment. Hopefully that metaphor was straightforward enough, and not so flowery as to be misunderstood.

Anyhoo, bottom line is that for me personally, I do what makes me happy with the people that are conducive to that, and the relationships in which I have busted out the "L" word have all managed to live up to the expectations I've had. In fact, over time, they've exceeded them. Maybe I'm just lucky, though I doubt that's it.