Something I have found is that negotiation takes different forms, depending on the people involved and the nature of the interaction.

If the negotiation is for the purpose of a single scene, at a party maybe, then it is usually short and specific. The top will state what he'd like to do in the scene and ask the bottom what he/she would like, an agreement will be reached about what will happen, hard limits and any medical/physical issues will be disclosed, and off you go, to happily "play". Both parties know what to expect, and there are no surprises. In this situation, it isn't so much that you're disclosing and negotiating limits as it is that you're choreographing a scene that will be satisfying to both (or more) people involved.

In a relationship, however, negotiation is a long process - and to a certain degree, is ongoing throughout the relationship. Limits are disclosed and discussed in depth - why something is a hard limit, how each party defines a particular act, clarification of soft limits, discussion of those "oh hell yes I love that!" items...and these limits shift and adjust over time. For example, a hard limit on my checklist with Him was puppy play. I simply could not see myself crawling around and barking. It was a huge "NO WAY". But, in discussion, we discovered that His definition did not involve actually "being" a puppy - it involved the use of a collar and leash to lead and control. I gave it a try - and loved it! So, something I defined one way and said No to, He defined a different way and it has become one my most favorite things.

Another part of negotiation in a relationship is negotiating the actual parameters of the relationship. How do you define yourself and your partner in the relationship? That may change over time. I'm not a big fan of the "Hi nice to meet you...gosh that was fun playing...yes, I'm your slave for life" rush into Master/slave relationships. Over the course of my relationship with Him, we have gone from Dom/sub to Owner/property - but it took well over a year and lots of conversation to get there.

Another thing that needs to be openly negotiated is the type of relationship you seek - is it monogamous, poly, sorta poly...how you each define these terms needs to be very clear. Particularly if you're interested in a poly relationship - the negotiation of that can be difficult and uncomfortable - but it needs to be completely open and honest in order to have any chance of success.

One last thought - it can be hard, as a submissive, to negotiate. It may feel like "topping from the bottom" or it may be intensely uncomfortable. But, you, as a submissive, owe it to yourself to do this. If you don't take care of you, who do you think is going to do it?