DM's need not be doms... just trained.

And the rules obviously aren't being equally enforced or evem properly explained... I've NEVER been to a dungeon where intruding on a scene (touching in this case) without invitation is permitted. (Incident-1)

The DM's (Incident-2) sound like the type who know just enough to be authoritarian but not knowledgable.

Don't presume it's like that everywhere.