Indeed. And if I may expand on that, I've seen a certain mentality amongs new submissives, be they male or female, that they must obey any and all dom/mes and aren't allowed to have their own likes, dislikes, limits, and what-have-you.

BDSM is a heady cocktail, and when it's combined with that, it can be a recipe for trouble. Then, too, if you are attracted to or infatuated with your playmate, it can be easy to abandon your instincts for self-preservation...

I think the key is just to try and take it slow. Anyone worth talking to, let alone playing with, will be more than understanding; if they just want to jump right in, that should set the alarm bells to ringing.

Oh, and just so that everyone reading this thread can say "Thanks for the BLAZING INSIGHT, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!" make sure you've both filled in and exchanged a checklist before you play. Those things are invaluable, and an absolute Godsend for avoiding garbled communication.