A public meet in a pub, restaurant or cafe before any play is even suggested is also advised. You can meet them alone or you can both bring chaperones but you should also both have mates in the same place at the same time - sitting on different tables and not getting involved unless you signal them. This is a 'first date' and you use it to chat about stuff - getting to know each other - and while you can talk about BDSM you do not engage in any.