epiphany

I have read all of the posts in this thread, and all the posts that were lost in the crash, and I am at a loss as to what planet these psychiatrist’s come from, that some posts talk about. I think that you are wrong when you say that you should have seen the signs. No one ever sees the signs of an abuser or a controller, because it is a deep secret that they all keep, and that is why so many get away with the things they do. Neither can you see the signs if you are not looking for them; and most abusers put their actions down to love and trust, protectiveness, or discipline, and they use those very words to justify their actions. They will never put it down to their own sickness, and they will always apportion blame to others rather than say it is them that need help.

As for forgiveness, it is as you say the hardest thing to do, but you must be a lot stronger than me, because I will never forgive my abusers, and neither can I ever forget them. I tolerate them, because I never burn bridges that one day I might have to walk back over. I was just wondering as I ask you with the greatest respect, how can you still love the person that has put you through so much mental pain? I think that that could also be your strength of mind now, and it is something to be admired.

Regards ian 2411