If God were female, the creation would have been done in a day, and everything put away at the end, neat and tidy. What's this about the Day of Rest? No time for that nonsense! After creating the World and the seas and the skies and all therein, She'd still have had time to make a meal at the end of each day, and make Herself look good for Her man for the evening ...

Her man?

Oh yes. She'd have had to make Adam. Who else could She talk to? But She'd never have created Eve: She'd not share him with anyone, least of all that tart! Parading around naked and all ... where's her dignity?