in my own experience as a Dom, (wouldnt normally comment on this forum but as others have I will too) I find that practice and regular stretching really help.

I also think that its really important for a subby to have an orgasm during anal sex (helps her perceive the activity as pleasurable and acts as a reward).

Patience is also essential! (to echo pretty much everything above) on both sides, a Sub cant expect to become a anal goddess over night, and a Dom cant expect one session of anal sex to make her wiling every time and to remove all her concerns. Both of these things take time.

a sub has to still continue to exercise and keep stretched.

and a Dom still has to take it it slow and be reassuring, until youre both fully comfortable.

Obviously people take to it in completely different ways, Ive know Doms to hate it, and subs to like it better than regular sex.

hope that helps a little

U.

PS Oz... Im still having trouble associating that macho image with your avatar.