Pondering is fun.

Your two questions revolve around two simple phrases in scripture, thus both the answer to your very thought provoking question.

First, just as you said. Love thy neighbor as thy self.

When following this particular line of thinking you tend to fall in line with nearly all the other suggested 'commandments' or words spoken by the authors of scripture.

Second, Judge not lest ye be judged.

So if you say you love your neighbor, but don't agree with their lifestyle. Follow this scripture. Thus you relieve yourself of the burden of saying how someone else does something is wrong and imoral.

If you follow those two teachings, you should do very well to not consider the imorallity or faullicy of others. Concentrate on your own salvation, and worry about if your living your life how you should. Contemplating the eternal salvation and damnation of others falls into the second step I mentioned.

V/R
ID