i'm not trying to be a prude, here...

[denuseri]

Another good reason is that a lot of the more prominant and visible people in the kink community are in their 40's or higher, and they use that position to go after younger subs, either to protect them or simply because they enjoy younger partners.

Or unfortunately sometimes in an attempt to use their age to their advantage in misrepresenting their actual experience and get one over on younger naive and unsuspecting partners.

[alittlecuriousgirl]

Or unfortunately sometimes in an attempt to use their age to their advantage in misrepresenting their actual experience and get one over on younger naive and unsuspecting partners.

oh hell. see--that's the stuff i worry about. any help????
-curious

[flying66]

oh hell. see--that's the stuff i worry about. any help????
-curious

Easy... ask for references from their other play partners XP

I'd be suspicious if they had none, or refuse to give up names.

[jeanne]

oh hell. see--that's the stuff i worry about. any help????
-curious

This is where it comes in handy to have some friends among the submissives in your local community. It makes me sad to see newbies come into the community and focus only on finding the "Dom of their dreams". I always advise new submissives to focus on getting to know other submissives. Make friends, find out if there's a submissive discussion meeting or roundtable, and reach out. Then, when you do meet a Dom, you have a group of submissives that you can ask "what do you know about so-and-so? Have you ever played with him? Would you play with him again?" etc.

Really though. If you plan to join your local community, make friends. Then worry about the Dom-hunt.

[Ozme52]

This is where it comes in handy to have some friends among the submissives in your local community. It makes me sad to see newbies come into the community and focus only on finding the "Dom of their dreams". I always advise new submissives to focus on getting to know other submissives. Make friends, find out if there's a submissive discussion meeting or roundtable, and reach out. Then, when you do meet a Dom, you have a group of submissives that you can ask "what do you know about so-and-so? Have you ever played with him? Would you play with him again?" etc.

Really though. If you plan to join your local community, make friends. Then worry about the Dom-hunt.

An excellent approach everyone can follow.

Also excellent in getting a head start toward meeting dominants in your community, you'll see who the subs talk about, who they hang around with, who they avoid.

[Ozme52]

oh hell. see--that's the stuff i worry about. any help????
-curious

Use your own best common sense.

By the same token, question anyone your own age who claims themselves an experienced dominant... no one is ever through learning, and experience does require time spent. Not just book learning and internet reading.