wow

[flying66]

Now, submission is a very particular beast... mayhaps you aren't particularly sure what the terms 'submissive' and 'submission' actually mean. For example, there are bottoms who will be passive... you can drag her to your knee and hold her down for a spanking but a submissive will climb on your lap of her own volition and present herself to you.

There are people who are into kink, they like being tied up or spanked and the like but they don't offer submission... do you see where I'm coming from?

The final verdict is that you can't turn someone into a submissive, you can't make them into something they are not, submission is offered, it cannot be taken because that is contradictory.

Talk to your girlfriend, ask if she might be into a little spanking, a scarf to the headboard, having her wrists held down, or a hand clapped over her mouth, or being blindfolded and see where it goes from there.

Does she become aroused when you tell her to do things in the bedroom? Can you say "I want you to go lock the door and strip naked for me then come here and take me in your mouth" or would she just tell you not to order her around?

[brwneydgirl]

Now, submission is a very particular beast... mayhaps you aren't particularly sure what the terms 'submissive' and 'submission' actually mean. For example, there are bottoms who will be passive... you can drag her to your knee and hold her down for a spanking but a submissive will climb on your lap of her own volition and present herself to you.

The way this is worded, it almost sounds like it's one way OR the other. Either the submissive is "made" to submit---presumably by force....or she climbs on the lap to present herself without being told.

Gosh, is that true? Is it always just one way or the other? Can't you have both of those "types" in ONE submissive?? I like the idea of "force"...being dragged and pushed down and held down...yep. LIKE a LOT.

And I also like the idea of perfect obedience.

Does that make me less submissive than she who may not need or enjoy the physical push?

[flying66]

The way this is worded, it almost sounds like it's one way OR the other. Either the submissive is "made" to submit---presumably by force....or she climbs on the lap to present herself without being told.

Gosh, is that true? Is it always just one way or the other? Can't you have both of those "types" in ONE submissive?? I like the idea of "force"...being dragged and pushed down and held down...yep. LIKE a LOT.

And I also like the idea of perfect obedience.

Does that make me less submissive than she who may not need or enjoy the physical push?

I didn't mean to say it was one way or the other, I just felt that explaining it in more black and white terms would be less confusing than talking about all the 'gray area'

To answer your question, yes, 'I' (as in personal opinion) think that someone who needs more of a 'push' is less submissive than one who doesn't. There are different degrees of submissiveness, it doesn't make you less of a submissive (and also people will display more or less submissiveness depending on the person)

You get people who just like being told what to do, and don't like being flogged, or spanked, or hurt in any way and you also have people who like to be flogged and spanked and paddled and caned but they don't like being told what to do or obeying etc. and you have everything inbetween and mixes etc. The latter I described isn't necessarily a 'submissive' so much as a 'pain-slut' and I only meant to illustrate that it's possible to be one without the other.