Quote Originally Posted by nawteeone View Post
Hmmm. I'm thinking that the whole notion of you denying him for any reason sets off a trigger. So while you're asking for a alternative to saying "no," maybe he would react to them all the same way, you know?

With me and M, it's understood that in every day communication, I have every right to speak my mind as I see fit. When we are getting into the sexual aspect of things, he most definitely does not like me to say no, try to stop him, even flinching at times aggravates him. In those moments, he wants my total submission.

The key is: How does he KNOW how far I am willing to go, and still be comfortable? This is stuff we talk about ALL THE TIME in regular conversation (and NOT in the middle of heated moments). Prior communication is the key. You said he reacts even if it isn't in the middle of a scene, but I think if you are feeling a certain way, you need to be who you are, and react in a way that is true to you....and that will include saying no when it suits you!
i see what your saying and that makes sense to me. Getting around something one way or another is still getting around it. Maybe its not the actual word persay that has Him going, maybe its actually my use of it and maybe He sees me as being definant when i use it. which makes me think i might be using it that way. Being i know its not allowed scene wish perhaps i am trying to just get a rise out of him knowing i can use it in every day situations. Grrr am going to have to think more about this. Thanks for the replys.