Yes, certainly analyzing the reason behind why you are saying 'no' is very useful, and also finding out the reason it bothers him, too. It's funny, though the word 'no' seems to be clear, it actually isn't because it's too general. You need to find a clearer way to express what you're feeling, and in order to do that, you need to first figure out more clearly what your feelings are.

Kind of like asking for anger to hopefully get restrictions put in place for outside of scene.
If this is true, then you don't need to make him angry in order to ask for more restrictions. Simply ask for them. Explain to him that you would like him to exert more control over your every day life, not just in the bedroom. Just remember to word it respectfully, as this is a question, a request. And then keep in mind you'll be submitting to whatever he comes up with- so make sure this is what you want before you ask for it!