I'm pretty new to this also. I quess like many I might have know I to use to dream of getting kidnapped and raped and instead of scarying me I got excited my stepfather started fingerings me and moved on to having sex with me when I was 15 and instead of hating it I liked it. I married a man that dominates me only verbally when I found some books about bdsm I relized I was a sub always had been tried to get my husband intersested but he was not for it so I turned to the internet for my answers I'm starting to realize I'm not alone with these feelings