Beg to differ Oz...'kinky' for me contains a sexual element, which seemed to be largely absent from Cecily's description apart from hoping to feel more 'wanted' in the bedroom.

Anyway the labels are not very important ultimately, although I felt that Cecily thought that the labels thing might be the key issue (see title of her post) which is why I raised the point.

What is really key, as always, is the communication between the partners....and Cecily, I wouldnt even consider the labels sexist/sexism in this context...these are usually used to describe attitudes which are male egotistical entailing a nonconsensual sterotyping of the female. Your scenario is a consensual one, and you want your guy to take your wishes into account.....thats a different story. Its fairly liberated actually.

Good luck!